I was never that person who grew up daydreaming about relationships. I didn’t doodle crushes’ names in notebooks, and I definitely never had a Pinterest board full of wedding inspo. What I did think about, though, was how to live a life where I felt like enough on my own. I pictured myself in a cozy little home, making my own rules, and showing up for myself—because honestly, the one person I’ve always known I can depend on unconditionally is me.
And then, last year, I did something completely uncharacteristic of me: I decided to marry someone I had never even met in person.
Yep. You read that right.
We had already spent countless hours talking online— sometimes conversations that went on for hours felt like minutes—we finally met face-to-face in India. He flew down with a single purpose: to meet me, and if things felt right, get engaged within four days. At that point, we had only been talking for three months, which isn’t a lot in the grand scheme of things, but for us? It was wild how effortless everything felt between us.
Of course, anxiety had its fun with me before he arrived. I kept thinking, Where are his red flags? At best, I noticed beige or pink ones—tiny quirks, nothing deal-breaking. How could someone not have glaring, “run down the hill into the river” type of red flags? I even started convincing myself that maybe I’d be the one bringing those into the relationship. Shrug.
But when we finally met, the clarity was almost immediate. He was the first person I didn’t have to shrink around. I never felt the need to censor my thoughts or filter how I spoke. Even difficult conversations weren’t heavy—we just…. talked. We didn’t always behave the same way or express our values in identical forms, but our goals and principles lined up in the bigger picture. Plus, I could be silly with him. We could be kids again together. That kind of fun, as basic as it sounds, told me he was raised by strong parents who lived life on their own terms. And that? I could relate to.
So, I said yes. No turning back.
Now, two years after our first-ever conversation, Over one year after our engagement, and one year into marriage we’re still figuring this out day by day. Things are going “good enough”, which in my book is more realistic (and more comforting) than the picture-perfect love story movies sell us. We’re living in our cute little starter home in Aarhus, constantly debating how to decorate it. We’ve got big dreams individually and as a couple, we’re both still hungry to grow in our own careers, too.
We’re the same-same, but different. And somehow, that works.
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